Do Not Fear Sexual Continence

Men usually succeed in having a certain degree of control on their sexual excitement, once they have grown as lovers, and once their desire is to satisfy their beloved.

This capability is often translated in terms of distraction of the mind from the sexual excitement, instead of learning how to become more and more sensitive to this excitement.

A real control of ejaculation comes up only when a man has learned his own individual rhythm of excitement, and not when he ignores it.

Once you get to become aware of your ever-increasing pleasure, you will find it easier to walk on the path of sexual continence, or in other words of multiple orgasms.

In order to fully experience sexual pleasure, men have to relax and abandon themselves. But, if a man relaxes and abandons in a wrong moment, he may even ejaculate because of this.

WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT EJACULATION
The discharge of the semen from the body takes place in two phases. The first one, the contracting phase (called sometimes the emission phase) the prostate is contracting and pushes the semen through the urethra. In the expulsion phase, the semen discharged in the urethra goes further on through the penis.

When you will be capable of having multiple orgasms, you will experiment those pleasant pelvic contractions without ejaculating. Although there are men who ejaculate several times during one act (especially adolescents) it has to be clear from now on that multiple orgasms (without ejaculation) do not refer to this kind of multiple ejaculations.

If a man is very excited, there may appear some drops of transparent liquid. The prostate and other glands, such as Cowper glands produce this translucent fluid eliminated usually before the discharge of the semen.

It is in fact an alkaline liquid needed for the lubrication of the urethra and for preparing the way for the semen. The Taoists named this liquid water and distinguish it from the milk, which represents the seed.

This fluid is perfectly natural, its presence indicates the orgasm of the “contractile” phase, and it may contain a number of spermatozoids. This is usually called “pre-ejaculation”.

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SEMEN WHEN I DO NOT EJACULATE?
The semen is reabsorbed by the organism, in a manner somewhat similar to the process occurring in the case of a man who had a vasectomy.

Nonetheless, the effects of Taoist and Tantric techniques on the human organism are quite different from the effects of a vasectomy.

A vasectomy implies that the deferent tube is cut right above the testicles and consequently, the sperm can no longer pass through the tube.

The semen is finally re-absorbed inside the body, but quite a number of men complain because of a state of congestion in the testicles and pelvis.

Therefore, either if you had a vasectomy or you simply practice sexual continence, it is so important that you practice techniques to sublimate the sexual energy from the sexual area.

These techniques help your body to transform the semen into other substances, process known as transmutation. Then the resulted energy is sublimated to the upper chakras, releasing the tension from the pelvis.

The involuntary contractions of the orgasms in the contractile phase, without ejaculation, massage the prostate, keeping it healthy and decongested.

CAN THE FACT THAT I DO NOT EJACULATE HARM ME IN ANY WAY?
The Taoist and Tantric adepts have practiced the techniques for transmutation of the semen and sublimation of the sexual energy into other refined forms of energy for thousands of years without any side effects. Moreover, they noticed that their health and longevity have been substantially improved.

THE ORGASMIC MASCULINE POTENTIAL
Instead of the usual, ejaculatory orgasm, the “Big-Bang” type, the methods of transforming and sublimating the sexual energy endow you with the possibility of rising this energy even from the contractile phase (before ejaculation), allowing you to experiment many multiple orgasms, perceived with your entire body, not just your genital area.

If you feel that ejaculation is imminent, block it by squeezing it with your fingers. This will prolong your orgasm and preserve your energy.



If you succeeded in avoiding the ejaculation, you may direct your energy along the spine, up to the crown of the head, in order to conclude the lovemaking with your whole body radiating energy.

It is a fact that the Tantric masters used the energy resulted from sexual intercourse without ejaculation for a spiritual purpose, i.e. they sublimated this energy and used it to reach the state of divine ecstasy, even revelation of the Supreme Self, Atman.

Also, it is known the fact that the same Tantric masters used to maintain hard erections for hours, during sexual intercourse without ejaculation, even at old age.

WHERE DID THE ERECTION GO?
I DID NOT EJACULATE, BUT I LOST MY ERECTION. WHAT HAPPENED?

If the sperm was not discharged nor reabsorbed, then only one thing may happen. Sometimes, when practicing sexual continence, you may have a non-ejaculatory orgasm and still you may suddenly lose the erection.

In this case you may have experienced a so-called “retrograde ejaculation” (in case you did not simply lost erection). If this is the case, the semen is discharged into the urinary vesicle and it will be discharged from the body once you urinate.

However, since you lost your erection and your semen (even if through urination), you have not succeeded in practicing correctly the sexual continence.

It is important for you to know that the effects of retrograde ejaculation are just as damaging as those of a “regular” ejaculation.

However, there is a method to see for yourselves if what happened was a retrograde ejaculation: after lovemaking, take a bowl and urinate in it. If the urine is not clear, then you eliminated the semen through it.

A Method to Control Sexual Energy, Part 2

THE SEXUAL AROUSAL
According to the Taoism, we, as human beings need to feel the sexual arousal daily, as it represents the life-giving force of sexual energy.

When we are sexually aroused, the amount of sexual hormones (considered in Taoism as “the fountain of youth”) increases substantially.

Consequently, the more we become aware of this energy and we learn how to direct it, the better we become capable of perceiving this rejuvenating energy at any moment.

BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR AROUSAL
In order to become a multi-orgasmic man, you need to be perfectly aware of the speed with which you reach the sexual arousal. Very few men pay attention to their own rhythm of sexual arousal.

Instead, they pass on from erection to ejaculation like race cars, without taking the time to notice, enjoy, and watch the road they are walking on.

In the incipient stages of arousal, the penis becomes swollen, gaining in length and thickness, as the tissue is swollen with blood.

As the penis gains in erection, the valves close the veins, preventing the blood to return in the body. Even male-babies and most men have at least few erections over night, while dreaming.

Almost any man has had the strange experience of being incapable of getting an erection once they were with a woman. Occasional inability of getting an erection is due to what the psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld called “the penis’ wisdom”.

This fact indicates that you have to pay special attention to certain aspects in your personal relationship, or it may be a sign that you are under pressure or stressed.

If a man has repeatedly had problems in getting an erection, his problem is called impotence, term which carries a meaning of weakness and lack of vigour.

In Tantra, this term does not exist. You may recourse to the solo exercises in order to get a stronger erection, and the lovemaking techniques for couples and you will not have to face this problem again.

THE PHASES OF ERECTION
Most men believe that there are two situations: either they are aroused, or not; either they have an erection, or they do not.

At youth, men get erections so often and so fast that it becomes difficult to distinguish between the levels of excitation.

Nonetheless, the Taoists distinguish four levels of arousal:

The first: firmness and dilatation
The second: thickness
The third: hardness
The fourth: heating

The erection is more than a static annex, but a process in development that reflects the level of arousal. Western doctors have recently confirmed the existence of these four levels of the erection, although they have described them in terms that are more technical.

At the first level, the penis begins to move and becomes erect. At the second, it is firm, but not hard – at least not hard enough to penetrate the woman’s vagina (unless you use the technique of Flabby Penetration).

At the third, it is erect and hard. In the fourth, it is very hard and hot. During this last stage, the testicles enter the man’s body.

If you maintain the third level, without reaching the fourth, it will be easier to avoid ejaculation. The sublimation of the sexual energy will prevent the penis to reach the fourth level, in which it is hard and hot.

If you feel you are about to enter the fourth level, anxious and explosive and you want to become aware of the third and fourth levels of arousal, you have to learn to relax the pelvic muscles and thus sublimate the sexual energy more easily.

Spontaneity and Lovemaking

Ecstasy: in Greek the prefix “ex” is generally translated as “outside”, and “staxis” as “to stay”. Consequently, amorous ecstasy refers to the erotic state obtained through erotic union performed only with continence of transcending any state of consciousness and escaping from the monotony of the ordinary lovemaking.

An obvious fact needs to be stated in the beginning of this article: we cannot enounce instructions that would generate spontaneity in our readers, because one cannot be spontaneous while following specific instructions.

Just as the inspiration of the artist consists in seeing things from a personal perspective, the spontaneity in lovemaking is first and most important of all a matter of feeling.

The direct, intimate perception of your lover, the true and genuine feelings, and the perceptions of your lover’s sensations will generate an immediate, intuitive knowledge that acts as a psychological guide of what you have to do.

In the following, we will still make some suggestion, hoping in a deeper and better understanding of the term spontaneity and its importance in a steady couple relationship.

What you are about to read are not rules, nor techniques, they are rather merely impulses in the right direction for those who would want such impulses.

Think of the first time you ever wanted to ride a bicycle. You did need a first impulse at that time. Think of the following in the same terms. After the first lessons, it is so easy to open up and enjoy the naturalness, and relaxation that any further suggestion or hint becomes useless.

As one may easily notice, any great artist has begun to truly create something after he has come out of his or her master’s influence. Lord Byron, the Romantic poet said that when one begins to create, “ten thousands of delicate inspirations” come our way.

Let us now move to what concerns us at this point. Lovemaking is grossly made of three parts: kiss, caress and the lovemaking itself.

THE KISS
How many ways of kissing are there? Maybe more than the raindrops that gently caress the flowers in the spring. The lovers may kiss each other by simply touching the tips of their tongues, simply enjoying this sensation.

Careful only to the sensations and reactions that they have, careful only at the impulse and ardent desire of doing what they were doing. Important is the simple touch of the tongues, without trying to direct your lover’s tongue one way or another, without inhibiting this passionate movement, and without necessarily staying still.

In other words, allow your tongue to move freely, as in a dazzling dance, feeling, tasting, and doing any movement that you might want, or maybe none of the above, just being relaxed and intimate with your lover.

Thus, you allow all your yearnings to manifest freely, without doing a certain gesture; or rather your tongue becomes the gesture, feeling the flavor of divine nectar.

THE LUCID DRUNKENNESS OF LOVE
Very soon you will notice, thrilled, that your tongue seems to have a mind of its own, and knows exactly what to do. All you need to do at this point is to feel and express freely and directly what you experience.

Feeling is now more than just tasting, it is also perceiving the warmth, the moisture, the softness, the breath – all are mere calls to touch.

Even if you spend in this lucid drunkenness of love moments or hours on end, it is sure that you will want to feel and touch your lover not only with your tongue, but also with your lips, kissing your lover’s lips and any part of her body, according to some tacit “agreements”.

There is no need to inhibit the movements of your lips or tongue, simply allow them to move freely, spontaneously and playfully on your lover’s body.

There is no possibility, in this whole wide world that could get you know your lover as directly and as personally as allows this sacred intimacy.

Someone compared this type of kissing with a stellar painting, filled with bright colors, in four dimensions, a cosmic diagram of the feelings and inner experiences that appear in a person when the kissing flows freely and naturally from the lips of both lovers, as the blood flows in the veins.

How Can I Have Multiple Orgasms?

It is customary (nonetheless false) to believe that the masculine orgasm is the same with ejaculation. Let us see what really happens during this process.

If a man makes love and reaches the point of non-return, he will reach the climax and then sink into the stupor of post-ejaculatory abyss. After ejaculation, most men discover that they are at the minimal stage of their ejaculation and that they have to climb back gradually.

However, most men think that the purpose of lovemaking is ejaculation. Ejaculatory orgasm may appear as a passionate race, but after you experience the ecstatic, prolonged bliss of multiple orgasms, this ejaculatory discharge will seem fade and disappointing, unable to stand the comparison.

HOW CAN I HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS?
As in the case of any orgasm you experimented so far, you will sense first excitation (either because of a physical stimulus, or because of a thought, fantasy, etc.). This state of excitement usually leads to erection and, if the stimulation begins, you may experience different degrees of excitation, until reaching the “contraction” stage of an orgasm.

This stage is in fact the crossroads, as it may lead either to ejaculation, or to multiple orgasms. During the contraction stage, you may perceive a series of contractions of the prostate gland, each of them lasting from three to five seconds.

Although the intensity of these pleasant pelvic orgasms varies, and they may often be just as intense as the orgasms in the ejaculatory phase, in the beginning they may be moderate.

Now is the moment when you have to decide: instead of going on, continuing to the point of non-return, followed inevitably by ejaculation, or stop for some moments, until you are in control of your excitation rhythm by slowing down your respiratory rhythm and maintaining a calm and attentive attitude.

Another method is to contract your PC muscle around the vibrant prostate, until you gain some control over these spasms. By directing the energy from the area of the genitals on the spine, towards the upper parts of the body, will help you eliminate the pressure and the urge to ejaculate.

The level of the arousal will gradually decrease, preparing another genital orgasm. Such multiple orgasms will lead to a different level of arousal, which builds up each time.

Important note: if you crave for the orgasms in the contractile phase, there is a great risk for you to ejaculate. Most men have discovered that they have to cease all stimulation right before experiencing this type of orgasm.

Many men practicing sexual continence tell how they “withdraw” in non-ejaculatory orgasms instead of rushing on to ejaculate. The idea is to be able to “stay” in this point without reaching the point of non-return. You will thus feel the pleasure of the contractions of the PC muscle, as well as those of the anal muscles.

It is up to each man how close he may get to experience the multiple orgasms from the contraction phase. You will experience waves of ecstatic pleasure, and if your lover is a multi-orgasmic woman, who practices the sexual continence as well, you are heading for paradise, as both of you will experience states of prolonged orgasms.

You no longer need to worry about making your lover orgasm, and then have an orgasm of your own. The two of you rather have the opportunity to experience in the same time intense states of pleasure and happiness.

If you have difficulties in differentiating orgasm from ejaculation, you may start directing the energy up the spine, before reaching ejaculation.
According to the Tantric and Taoist traditions, the key in getting an all-body orgasm is to sublimate the sexual energy.

Once you succeed in sublimating this energy, you will discover in amazement that you experience orgasmic sensations with other parts of your body, ones that you never considered orgasmic before.

The voluntary contraction of the PC muscle is also a great help in increasing your sensitivity of the pelvic area, as well as in controlling the orgasms in the contraction phase.
If you should ejaculate – which may happen while you are in the beginning of this practice – do not feel highly disappointed, not frustrated.

However, such experiences must not repeat too often. Nonetheless, transform them into opportunities to experience and to know better your body and its mechanisms. Remember that practice requires time, and intimacy, both for yourself, and for your lover.

A Method to Control Sexual Energy, Part 1

 

 

Sexual energy is one of the most powerful types of bioelectric energy. In the East, “excitement” is understood in terms of building up of sexual energy.

The practice of sexual continence is based on the cultivation of this energy and using it in your spiritual evolution.

You have to learn how to make the sexual energy (located in the area of your genitalia) circulate in your entire body, so that you have multiple all-body orgasms and to experience the famous erotic ecstasy.

According to the Taoist tradition, all our organs offer the best part of their energy during orgasm, in order to create a new life. This is the power used to give life to a baby.

However, the Taoist and Tantric masters consider that if the aim is not procreation, it is best to preserve this energy and sublimate it into refined forms of energy, which will make us leap into and experience spiritual states.

The orgasmic energy suffuses every cell of our body. In order to be healthy and active, we need to perceive regularly this rejuvenating orgasmic energy – ideal would be every day.

Once you have developed the ability to make this energy circulate through your body, you will be able to perceive this sensation through your body everywhere and anytime.

You may ask yourselves if this perception of the sexual energy will have as result a constant state of sexual arousal, and you will consequently feel the need to have intercourse all the time, like “an itching that needs to be scratched”.

On the contrary, men and women have sexual impulses that need to become concrete or directed in a well-established direction.

In the West, we usually try to repress these desires, but according to the Tantric and Taoist traditions, such repression leads inevitably to physical and psychical unbalances.

“Cultivating” your sexual energy does not equal uncontrollable sexual urges, but a feeling of peaceful energetic fulfillment.

A man who has had multiple orgasms by practicing sexual continence explains the difference:

“Before I started practicing sexual continence, if I did not ejaculate for a while, my sexual drive became so strong, that I had to watch porn movies, look for one night stands, or attend the services of prostitutes.

Once I would ejaculate, that need disappeared and I could not understand why I spent so much time and so much money seeking its satisfaction. I would tell to myself that I would no repeat the same mistake, but I knew that after a while the sexual pressure would return and I would start all over again.

When I finally began to practice sexual continence, I realized that my sexual energy was still at its peak, but somehow balanced. It was the first time in my life when I was happy to be a man, because this time I was in control of my sexual energy.”

The more you practice sexual continence, the more you will realize that it is possible for you to have more control on your sexual energy than before, and you will have to learn how to direct properly this huge energy upwards.

The Hatha Yogic asana-s and techniques for meditation will help you transform the sexual energy into loving, volitional, mental and spiritual energy.

HOW DOES THE ENERGY FLOW INSIDE THE BODY?
There is a Tantric saying that goes like this: “the mind goes to a certain direction, and the energy follows it”. The energy tends to accumulate in the place where you focus your mind.

Experiments in the field of biofeedback have proved that focusing the attention on one art of the body may determine an intensification of the nervous and muscular activity in that particular area.

The more intense the mental concentration, the more ample the flow of energy. Remember that you must not push or draw the energy, but simply focus your mind on another part.

The complete understanding of this fact is essential for an efficient practice. However, for a good control of the sexual energy, you will not simply commute your attention along the skin.

In this case, you will perceive a palpable/concrete flow of warm energy, under the form of tingling in the particular area you are focusing upon.

Synchronized Breathing

 

 

Breath is a non-verbal means of communication. Breathing in the same rhythm with your beloved is an unique experience that allows us to amplify the sensations and the energy that you use in lovemaking.

Generally speaking a fast respiratory pattern is associated to the state of arousal, and a slow respiratory pattern is associated to the state of calmness. Knowing these things, you will choose the respiratory pattern associated to the state you wish to obtain.

You can correlate synchronized breathing with the contractions of the various pelvic segments, looking each other in the eyes while you breathe, and thus the effects of this technique will be highly amplified.

A very special sensation will occur if you get close enough so as to hear and feel your lovers breath and synchronize your breaths in this position.

This technique has amazing effects in deepening intimacy and enhancing ones trust, especially when you are in the beginning of a relationship.

The accord and the harmony between your breath leads rapidly to a harmony between the two lovers.

It is enough to be aware of the breathing pattern for a couple of minutes, and then shift your awareness to the common rhythm of your couple, as if you were a unique and complex being, in order to enjoy the states of intimacy induced by the change in the breathing pattern.

FOCUS
The most important sexual organ of a person is the mind. As paradoxical as it may appear, the concentration, the focus of the mind on inner physical and psychic processes represents a general key of success.

The elixir of love long sought by so many people is not different from the capacity to focus, to spontaneously concentrate in a well-established direction.

In order to obtain a good capacity to focus, you need constant practice. For instance, you follow your breathing pattern or you focus on the tactile sensations.

VIZUALIZATION
Sit in a comfortable position, spine straight and palms on the knees. Visualize a white, bright sphere placed in the genital area, as if you had a flame in this area.

Visualize this flame going up your spine until it reaches the head, exploding as in an artesian fountain of light, and then begin with the genital area again. One repetition of this process should take 2-3 seconds.

Keep this image for several minutes and perceive then a state of refinement and enhanced erotic energy filling up your body, doubled by a feeling of security and enhanced concentration.

LOVE
The techniques of sexual practice or the various erotic positions regardless of their complexity or acrobatics are not sufficient to bring you erotic fulfilment.

In order to be happy and fulfilled, you need to participate with the entire force of your being, with your entire affective force in the erotic act. Love is the only method that leads to the desired results.

The problem is that love is not a technique to be practiced and learned, and in order to participate with your entire being, with your entire soul and with your entire mind, you need to be aware of the source, of the origin of this energy inside of you.

For this, the sexologists advise to deepen and explore as much as possible every erotic sensation you experience.

It is also highly useful to be aware of the fact that the sexual energy is a form of manifestation of the energy of life, which sustains the human beings and the entire universe.

If you persevere in this effort of self-exploration, you will notice how much the erotic sensations are refined, as they become sources of joy and light in the core of our being.